Saturday, August 22, 2009

How To Survive A Zombie Attack: First, Survive The Moths

Something terrible happened to me tonight. I was out buying jumbo packs of condoms, as I often do, but when I returned I a horror awaited me. Clinging to the windows of the door was a huge...giant...vicious...moth.

Seriously, this thing was enormous. A wing span of a least 2 and a half inches, evil mothy powder everywhere. A true beast. Like Godzilla, or Shelob (spawn of Ungoliant), or maybe your mom. 100% terrifying. Also, I hate moths. And by hate, I mean I'm scared of them. Really scared. Like a Jap's afraid of Godzilla.

Anyways, there was clearly no way I could in through that door with such a monster guarding it, so, with my tail firmly between my legs, I circled around to another door.

It was locked.

I tried another, also locked.

So there I was, trapped outside by an unnaturally large moth. I called OSK (even though he was at least 2000 miles away), but to avail. Flapjack was flying solo on this one. I considered waiting until morning, but thought better of it. Instead, I went on a daring commando raid to retrieve a key. After microing my ballistae like a boss, I succeeded and, eventually, made it inside. As far as I know, it's still out there...

10 comments:

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