Sunday, March 23, 2008
School's Important, I Swear
I think the makers of Trojan brand condoms skipped a key day of history class because has got to be the stupidest name for a condom brand. Let's think about Trojans for a moment: 1) they lost the war. It's the only thing any of us are aware of Troy doing, and they lost. 2) They lost because of a girl (Helen of Troy, right?). I personally don't like the idea of condoms that don't fare well in conflicts involving women. And, worst of all, we have the Trojan Horse! Think about it. The horse was used to sneak unwanted dudes into an unsuspecting city. Just think about that Trojan Horse full of little spermies eager to ransack something. BAD!
Girl: "Oh, look, a Trojan. He must mean well. I know because I got a C+ in history."
Spermies: "Hooray! The trick is working, she thinks the Trojan is harmless because it looks safe. Now we can ransack her city."
This is not good. Trojan: bad marketing scheme. Good thing the women haven't caught on yet, otherwise you'd start making a lot of guys very unhappy.
Girl: "Honey, I'm not sure about this...something makes me suspect that condom of ransack-related trickery."
Dude: "Wait, did you just call me "honey"? What the fuck?!"
Spermies: "NOOO! We art thwarted!"
Posted by gbz at 1:02 PM