Friday, February 09, 2007

The Bohr Model of Friendship

After a conversation with a buddy of mine, I've decided to begin a great scientific undertaking: describing the Bohr Electron Orbital Model of Friendships. This, therefore is the first post in my new series of Science Stuff For Life.

**Disclaimer: You kind of need an understand of Bohr's model for actual electron orbitals in order for this is make sense, and I'm sooo not going to teach it to you**

You exist as a nucleus comprised of protons and neutrons (see the Subatomic Particle Theory for the Self), obviously at the center. Around you are your friends (the so-called electrons), bound to you by weak nuclear forces. I know the bond with friends isn't weak, but WNFs are actualy weak because they are, after all, nuclear. But anyways, the attractive force between your protons and your friend-electrons is caused by favorable compatibility between your charge and their charge (i.e. how well you get along). All your friend-electrons exist in one of seven circular, concentric orbitals. Friend-electrons in closer orbitals are attracted more srongly to the nucleus and are your closest friends. People who know and like less exist in orbitals further from the nucleus. Each orbital also has an energy associated with it (further away orbitals having a higher energy) that represents the amount of effort, time, and emotional anguish it would (or has) require(d) to bring them into the closest orbital. In addition to this difference in energy, different orbitals can accomodate different numbers of freind-electrons, the inner-most orbital being able to hold only a few (which makes sense, right? You can only have a few really close friends, and more less-close friends) while further, lower-energy orbitals can accomodate a higher number of friend-electrons. This has something to do with the Pauli (note the spelling) Exclusion Principle...something.

Anyways, you also have to keep in mind that the closeness and energy of orbitals are relative to the composition of the nucleus around which the orbitals are. For instance, someone who is good with people will have lower-energy orbitals, and the closest orbitals will be closer than the corresponding orbitals of people who aren't good with people or just have no friends.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Sunday Morning Rain

Today was my favorite barista's last day at the local Starbucks. It's mildly ridiculous to call her my "favorite barista" since I basicly never go to Starbucks (probably once a month or so). But she's always there when I'm playing latte-delivery-boy and we once had a nice little conversation about this Einstein tie I have. But anyways, she was talking with her fellow friendly (but not often alliterative) barista about how it was her last day. She seemed pretty happy about it, probably moving on to better things, but I'm going to miss her somehow. It seems unfair that what could've become a pleasant latte-delivery-boy-esque relationhsip, the kind where your lives intersect so minimaly but so perfectly, just got snuffed out like that. Potentiel for the sake of waste, kind of like meeting southerners your senior year in high school...

But thats just the nature of Sunday Morning Rain, I guess. You never know what your gonna get, it might be miserbaly and depressingly dreary, or it might be warm and sunny. Maybe it'll even force you inside by a warm hearth and make you just curl up and appreciate the light of a southern flame. You never do know what your gonna get, and sometimes you can throw on a raincoat or some bright yellow boots and just go about your day, but other times it's just too fucking wet. You just kind of take what you get and do what you can.

When we get right down to it, thats the forcast every day: Sunday Morning Rain (with a chance of crappy metaphor). Turn's out that this Thursday morning's Sunday Morning Rain was caramel scented and that kind of goodbye you go home and say by yourself, and maybe a forshadowing, juxtaposing hint of some actual Sunday Morning Rain this May.