Wednesday, November 29, 2006


Today was one of those days, not the ones when you want to just die a while so it will just end, it was one of the days that seems like a too-perfect microcasm for the whole universe, like everything you understand about the universe is crystalized and displayed in the theatre of this single day.

I was feeling virtuous today (a far too weighty, but more importantly boring subject to get into right now); I did my work diligently, worked on college applications, didn't fuck around playing Unreal Tournament. I decided to go home and work on an RPG I'm designing, which I figure is a more worthwhile use of my time than most of the shit I do. My first mistake was buying a pack of Dots (fucking highway robbery at 2 and something dollars), which by the way are nasty and not a good thing to have make up a signifigant portion of your food for one day. Then, instead of compiling a list of references I'd made but not yet developed in my RPG I decided to chill in front of the TV on a new leather couch. I proceeded to rot in front of "Clerks" (the indie-original, not the newer one thats in color) for an hour and change, eating nasty Dots. I felt like shit, I'd wasted an otherwise decent, constructive day.

So that brings us to redemption. Redemption has always fascinated me, probably because I consider myself more or less a failure have have some sliver of hope left that youth, no doubt, has saved from my cynicism. Conviniently enough, Clerks (an otherwise lewd and mediocre film) had a touching, redemptive ending which I didn't bother watching for some time after the aformentioned feeling like shit. Maybe from all the gloom and misery that is life and low budget comedies we can earn some clarity, get some purity from the crucible of realized sin. Maybe, at the end of a ruined day, we can repair someone else's, like driving to mobil (the same highway robbers that sold me dots, ah, how fitting) to surprise someone who's passing out over a mound of homework with an energy drink.

But that brings us to our second point. As I was carrying that enerfy drink across some treasured 6th-form lawn, I thought about how good a person I was, how much she'd appreciate that little gesture. Honestly, I wasn't in it for any kickback or even thanks, just the thought of making someone's day warmed my otherwise cold and empty little heart. But somehow it didn't work out the way I imagined it and a celebratory arm pump and wry, pointless comment from an onlooker didn't feel the way I thought it would.

Dissapointment, thats that life boils down to in my opinion. Anything that makes you happy, anything you value will eventualy be taken away from you and leave in its place a heartache worth twice the joy it brought you. Maybe that's just my cynicism, maybe its just me that looks (or, rather, stares longingly) into someone's painfully pretty, big brown eyes (unclouded, I hasten to add, by caffine) and sees only a future without her reflected back.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Full Circle

This is kinda old news, but Lance Armstrong said that running a marathon was the hardest thing he ever did. You have no idea how satisfying that is to hear for a distance runner who has to constantly hear about how tough the Tour de France is. Well there you go sports media, try taking those pussy cyclists and putting their joints on hard pavement for a while, then we'll see whos tough. (btw, I do have a ton of respect for Lance and the TdF, I just have more respect for runners).

You know in the old days (the old days, not the 1950s) before systematic scientific thought, kings or chiefs or whoever would rely on soothesayers for aid and advice. They'd probably read tea leaves or ancestral bones or constellations to predict events and suggest arcane solutions that seem silly to us now (maybe like treating wounds with masticated Asfalas). Good things we don't do that anymore.

But have you ever been nearby a bunch of non-techno-nerds trying to solve a computer related problem? They don't really understand the problem so they suggest solutions they believe will work only because they've seen it work in the past (circumstancial not empirical evidence). Basicly, they're modern day soothesayers (except they aren't considered proffesional). "Have you tryed restanrting it?", "um...quit and reopen it", "try jiggling the handle"...oh wait, wrong apparatus. Anyways, isn't it ironic that as technology becomes more sophisticated, it makes us (the people who invented it) look more foolish?

Saturday, November 18, 2006

A Sad State of Affairs

(No, I'm not talking about the quality of my recent posts). I was in the airport yesterday and while I was walking out I saw something kinda disturbing. No, it wasn't OldSchoolKlingon, though he is kinda disturbing to look at. I was heading down this really nice, wide staircase from security and I noticed I was the only one. I looked to my left and saw crowds of people jammed onto a narrow escalator going down a single flight of stairs. Is it so hard to propel from sorry lard-laden ass down one flight of very nice stairs? No wonder our country is so fat and lazy nowadays. Ever heard of the good ol' days, like the 50s, when people were tough and just got shit done. You know how much they would've laughed at escalators. Its a sad state of affairs.
I'm also miserable and exhausted because I spent all night watching star trek and didn't sleep enough. I'm not doing that again...fuck.
Go watch "The Right Stuff", its an old movie about test pilots and they're all tough 50s guys who would probably scale the side of a building over an alligator pit while fighting commies before they'd take escalators. I imagine those guys would've laughed at my manly toughness that day too, but oh well.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

2 Steps Away From the County Line

Cowboy Bob

Chocolate Syrup

FBI Section 7


Chew on that a while.

So apparently I lied when I said I'd blog more, I blame it on other people (see why). I wouldn't even be writing this except for the fact that I ran out of internet and don't feel like doing homework. For some reason I've been online a lot today killing time and I'm out of stuff I typicly do (i.e. the blogosphere and Renaissance Kingdoms) so I'm stuck here with very little to do except write a blog post....about this.

I could talk about gender roles but...nah. That's actualy a decent story about girls, starbucks, and accesories. It kinda got me rejected from the fraternity of manhood...well, maybe not, but there was this Klingon Warrior who was extremely ashamed (actualy he's not much of a warrior, but he was dissapointed). Or I could expand on that whole controlled substance thing and make it more serious, but that'd be redudant and, well, serious.

At least there'll be a big Trek marathon tomorrow so maybe I can blog about that...or the chip guy...

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Hey There

I know that I've basicly fallen off the blogosphere recently, I've been extremely busy. The wait is over though because I mailed my first college application yesterday so I don't have to stress over that anymore. Plus I'm getting sick of Unreal Tournament. I don't, however, have anything to blog about at the moment so here are some awesome pick-up lines I came up with a buddy of mine the other day. If you don't have at least a rudimentary understanding of chemistry, you might not get them but trust me, they're awesome.

"Hey baby, wanna fill my valence shell?" "I'd love to share your electrons" "Is it electronegative in here or is it just you?" "Baby I can rearrange your cations" "Lets go get dissolved in solution so we can trade ions and percipitate because most OH- salts are insoluble!"

...okay, I just made that last one up...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Pink Starbursts

Everyone knows you aren't a real man until you've killed something. We're also pretty sure you have to catch all objects, bladed or otherwise, thrown in your general direction. What's still unclear is whether or not your manhood is lessened by eating pink starbursts or, even worse, saying they're your favorite kind. Starbursts are excellent candies, everyone knows that, which is why we can get away with eating their fruity colorfullness, but the pink ones are still of questionable masculinity. I must admit, however, that I adore pink starbursts. They are by far the best kind (yellow ones kinda suck, unless you really want something sour). If thats wrong, so sue me because

pink starbursts > my own balls

So yesterday was halloween and I hardly even noticed. I was heading back to school for a long night of doing work and stressing about college when it occured to me that "omg, its halloween". I thought about all the happy little kids going trick-or-treating in their cute little costumes, getting all excited and having all kinds of little kid fun. I remember being a little kid and trick-or-treating around the prep school campus I live on with all the other fac-brats. That was so awesome. I was like 6, and it was just so cool to drive around (we all took with big school van everywhere) and go into all these decorated houses and get candy. Free candy! OMG! And now I spend my halloween hardly being aware of it and doing chemistry labs. Fucking little kids, they don't know how good they have it.