Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Pink Starbursts

Everyone knows you aren't a real man until you've killed something. We're also pretty sure you have to catch all objects, bladed or otherwise, thrown in your general direction. What's still unclear is whether or not your manhood is lessened by eating pink starbursts or, even worse, saying they're your favorite kind. Starbursts are excellent candies, everyone knows that, which is why we can get away with eating their fruity colorfullness, but the pink ones are still of questionable masculinity. I must admit, however, that I adore pink starbursts. They are by far the best kind (yellow ones kinda suck, unless you really want something sour). If thats wrong, so sue me because

pink starbursts > my own balls

So yesterday was halloween and I hardly even noticed. I was heading back to school for a long night of doing work and stressing about college when it occured to me that "omg, its halloween". I thought about all the happy little kids going trick-or-treating in their cute little costumes, getting all excited and having all kinds of little kid fun. I remember being a little kid and trick-or-treating around the prep school campus I live on with all the other fac-brats. That was so awesome. I was like 6, and it was just so cool to drive around (we all took with big school van everywhere) and go into all these decorated houses and get candy. Free candy! OMG! And now I spend my halloween hardly being aware of it and doing chemistry labs. Fucking little kids, they don't know how good they have it.

8 comments:

Gavrich said...

I don't know, Ben. I agree mostly with your post, but I think I had an idea of "how good I had it" when I was 10, after having eaten a lot of candy after coming home from trick-or-treating.

GAVANT said...

First, what's this about "real man"? At what point does a kid in high school decide he's a man much less a real one? Is it only about loving pink starburts as opposed to purple ones or is it Susie in her pink sweater as opposed me in my pink sweater? And then there's a question of who screwed up Halloween - if you paid more attention couldn't you have gone t+ting at the school you now go to as opposed to the one you lived at? Nothing beats free candy as a kid but then nothing can beat free stuff at 16. And any socailly sanctioned day to dress up seems like an opportunity not to miss.

justifiably_vertical said...

Everyone please pay attention:
this blog is not serious
the whole "real man" thing is an ongoing inside joke among my friends (the starburst part is largely based on an old commercial about how unmanly they are, it was very funny). I'm actualy not very concerned about my own masculinity, nor do I support killing anything (make starbursts, not war).

pink sweaters are hideous, even on susie.

I did take the oppurtunity to dress up, just not on halloween itself. the reason I couldn't is because I was totaly swamped with work from my classes and college applications which really couldn't be put off. Also, people would find it knda sketchy if a high school senior asked them for candy...

OldSchoolKlingon said...

Umm pink sweaters don't always look bad on Susie, not always.

The Juicy One said...

yeah, i def didnt remember it was halloween until i saw someone in black and orange tights bl.8

pink starbursts > my own balls

hahaha, yeah they probly are that small too lol : )

Gavrich said...

Christ, juicy, that's cold.

For my gums, the orange and yellow starbursts take the prize.

Who is Susie?

justifiably_vertical said...

Every starburst has it's virtues, and even I like to mix it up every now and again, but pink still takes it

...and you don't know susie?!

The Juicy One said...

i actually don't know susie either...but yeah pink starbursts do sorta pwn...once i gave one to skipp just cuz it matched his shirt and his binder