Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Make Life A Controlled Substance: An Official Petition

Most people try to tell you that "getting high on life" is a good thing, but getting high is getting high. Just say 'no'. I used to be a good kid, I did my schoolwork and stuff. Then I started doing life. No one told me how strong it was, I mean, it sounded so innocent...just go out and have dinner or eat gumdrops or what have you. And sure, I enjoyed it at first. Then a little while passed and I noticed something: I really wanted a little more life. So I lived a little more, then a little more. Soon I was doing it all the time. I stopped doing my homework, stopped running hard enough, lost all my friends...wait, no, that didn't happen, but it was still really bad.

It's too late for me now, but not for you. If you don't have a life (and if you read this blog, thats likely) and someone offers you one, just say no. No. Really, just say no. Life is like an addiction, it'll ruin your...um...oh.

3 comments:

Gavrich said...

Stop whining, Ben. Go live in a grass hut, with no TV, Internet, running water, plumbing, electricity. Oh yeah, in a pool of your own filth. Then give us the self-pity story.

Life is not a drug, Ben. It's the be-all-and-end-all. Calling it a drug implies that there's a preferable alternative. And suicide's no alternative. Don't try to make us think it's any harder for you than it is for us. We're all in the same boat, Ben. We don't need the woe-is-me sob-story.

justifiably_vertical said...

wow...apparently tubs hasn't caught on that this blog is supposed to be funny...with, yu know, jokes...

The Juicy One said...

yeah that was hillarious

PS: if you call that one of gavin's sob stories than you guys really need to catch up...