Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Danger Dr. Robinson!

Warm fudge brownies. How appetizing does that sound? Warm....Fudge....Brownies. Mmmmmm. Just like mom used to make and dipped in fudgy sauce...so good.

No! Its a lie!

The other day, me and a classics-obsessed klingon went down to the local dominos for dinner and a big bag of gum drops. When we order, they (the people there are so nice, its surreal) asked if we wanted free fudge brownies. Who would ever turn down free fudge brownies? Hopefully, dear reader, you will because no good can come of Dominos Fudge Brownies! (What did any of us really expect from chocolaty pastries from a place that makes pizza and wings?). But anyways, there I was sitting in Dominos (yeah, we ate there 'cuz we're that fucking classy) having just eaten a very satisfying dinner and I figure, 'ah, what the hell, I'll try a brownie'. So I pop the whole thing in my mouth and o...m...f...g. It was horrible; hard on the outside, dry and gross on the inside and it tasted like the worth kind of imitation chocolate. Even worse, as I'm trying to force this thing down without spewing it all over that fine (though moderately sadistic) establishment the only thing I can think of is "it's like a fiesta in my mouth" (don't ask). Now its really hard to not spit it out 'cuz I'm laughing so much. But the night wasn't a loss since it involved large amounts of the super-healthy combo of Mountain Dew and gum drops, plus we came up with the ingenious idea of spedning a whole night (and I mean whole night) in the local mobil station, maybe hanging with Steve the Chip Guy.

Back to my point, fudgems (yeah, thats right, these gross brownies even have their own mascot) is an agent of satan.


Olivia said...

that is really dissappointing for me. the commercial with the weird fecal matter covered brownie thing made them look delicious. i don't know how i can cope with this tragedy.

Anonymous said...

Haahaa Jenner told me about your blog.

Those brownies are amazing and you have no taste and I still hate you for not coming today.

(Don't worry, I will never leave you a comment again).


justifiably_vertical said...

geez...your so subtle, I cant figure out who you might be...