This Way Forward

I've always had mild disdain for people who wear clothes just to make some statement about themselves (humorous t-shirts aside), mostly because I think its just posing that people shouldn't rely on superficial things to define themselves or try to come off as something they aren't. This veiw is probably largely due to my long standing habit of not caring about clothes or engineering a specific 'look'. This bias should perclude me from trying to get some 'look' that doesn't fit who I actualy am (whatever that is). But recently I've been wearing my Red Sox hat backwards which does an astonishingly good job of making me look more punkish and badass, which is my intention.

I've been wanting to update my look (and personality to a lesser degree) by being more punkish and badass (the tattoo is coming, trust me) mostly for the benefit of new freshman (especialy on the Cross Country team). This alone I don't have a problem with, but the whole hat thing runs against the grain a little...or at least I feel like it ought to.

The effect its had already (I've only been wearing my hat this way for a few days) is surprising. Walking down the crowded, suburban streets (filled mostly with old people) I feel all mean and rebelliously teenaged and more confident. I guess this is due to how I beleive people are perceiving me, which might be a bad thing (being defined by others' opinions).

But for now I'm keeping it, and sticking to my story that by looking meaner I'll dissuade muggers and other such undesirables.