Thursday, April 10, 2008

Best And The Brightest

I'm convinced that Denmark must have the world's most bad-ass criminals. Here's one of them: Lenny the Arsonist.

Lenny is presumably a lifetime criminal and all-round heartless pyromaniac. As far as I can tell, he's the only criminal in CiTY and yet the government has amassed an army of law enforcement and fire-fighting officers. The CiTY police force currently has four officers, a helicopter (currently in the shop for repairs because it "inexplicably" lost pieces), an ATV, a huge mobile command center, some kind of extremely complex radar system, and a draw bridge. Oh, and don't forget the 5 firefighters, fire engine, and huge barge (plus another engine and 2 men from the next town over) to put out any fires Lenny might start. 11 to 1?! What the fuck?

8 comments:

Atreyu said...

A kiss on the hand
May be quite continental,
But legos are a nerd's best friend.

Atreyu said...

I meant that in a good way, of course.

Mr and Ms Patel said...

yeah, he's clearly a bad-ass. i mean just look at his robber's hat. i think the CiTY govt has got this covered. 11:1, the same ratio as the student/faculty ratio at a college up north with a gorgeous classy motel near by. Coincidence? I think not.

Mr and Ms Patel said...

no partii oki orrr elllse yoo weal have to pai tooo room.

justifiably_vertical said...

In a rare (and apparently short lived) episode of fluency, the Patels have made a good point. Lenny's skills probably do derive from that awesome hat. Why anyone would make such obviously criminal hats is beyond me.

11:1, coincidence? Yeah. I don't think that ratio exists because it takes 11 panthers to capture 1 rampaging, pyromaniac professor.

Atreyu said...

Isn't it outlandish how eleven helpers and enforcers can not prevent poor Lenny from going on his perilous self-destructive rampage? If no one can come to his aid, perhaps Lenny will have to learn to make the right decisions on his own. How could he possibly move on to greater things, if he is unable to control himself or prevent his actions from hurting himself and others? sometimes the hard way is the better way, wouldn't you say so? is an arsonist not bound to burn himself?

justifiably_vertical said...

Atreyu dearest,
Of course Lenny isn't going to "burn himself", just look at his hat. That's the hat of a pro. It might also justify the huge police/fire force, but probably not.*

While Lenny might not have learned to make the right decisions, he has learned to set a lot of stuff on fire. Everyone's got to be good at something, right?*

As for "greater things", I can't imagine being greater than an arsonist who can justify the employment of 7 fire fighters by himself.*

*There is no hidden meaning here.

atreyu dearest said...

I'm sorry I doubted in him. Really, I am regretful. You have to understand me, it was hard at the time for me to see, what may come of the situation. Given the environment, the cards he was given. Yes, he was given bad cards, tough cards. A bumpy ride it was. Oh gosh, like yoda I am speaking.* He played his cards well, maybe he will try to make it seem like it was purposeful, like a skillful poker player. Maybe it's the opposite of the calm before the storm. The storm before the calm? It seemed as though demise was the only thing waiting at the end of the tracks. I saw demise maybe, but now my wildering thought can even make an Eden of this dim lake.

Contriteness.

Go Lenny, go!

*no hidden meaning here there is.