Thursday, April 17, 2008

Who Says This Isn't Like Real Life?

Here are some highlights from my fledgling RPG (think Dungeons and Dragons) campaign:



Vertigo: The protagonists were trying to defend an important religious figure inside a chapel. One of his would-be assassins was firing at him with a musket from a balcony across the room. One of players sprinted up a flight of stairs to attack him, and, upon reaching the sniper (who at this point had drawn a sword), tackled him off the balcony onto the stone floor below instead of using his own sword. I rolled to see what part of their bodies would take the fall; the player's character landed harmlessly (well, comparatively) on his chest while his opponent fell squarely on his head, rendering him unconscious (and probably paralyzed).

Biblical Study: One of the heroes, a prostitute, tried to use her finely honed skills to seduce or distract male NPCs (non-player characters) at every turn. Her would-be clients included a man who was, in fact, not in his room, a guard who turned out to be dead, and a man (eventually found outside his room) who fled upon seeing her.

Hazard Pay: This group of adventurers found themselves captured in an underground prison. They managed to escape after pretending to suffocate one of their companions, thereby starting one of the worst days for guards ever. The gaoler was gang tackled while trying to save the helpless PC and held in a leg-lock for about 10 minutes while another character threatened to cut his toes off. Another, moments after discovering that the man he thought was a fellow guard was, in truth, an escaped prisoner, was stabbed through the eye and killed instantly before he even had the chance to act. One of the guards protecting the exit was shot -at point blank- in the knee, then stabbed in the same place moments later. While on his knees, dizzy with pain, two of the heroes took advantage of him and simultaneously ran him through with brutal coup-de-graces. Meanwhile, his companion was gashed in the arm, more or less severing his bicep from the bone. In a heroic act, he attempted to punch his opponent (who happened to be an expert swordsman) and had his hand cut off in the process. He was left, delirious with pain and bleeding to death.

Did Anyone Pack a Compass?: This underground dungeon included a sizable map full of subtle clues as to who was in charge and what they were planning. There was a fellow prisoner who was supposed to introduce more clues in addition to an interesting moral dilemma. All of this went undiscovered by the players who bee-lined it to the exit, stopping by one storage room and the mess hall along the way. Critical plot details? Down the drain. Hours of prep? Down the drain. But I'm not bitter, even though everyone else I've ever played with will not rest until they've explored every room. So much for the Mario mentality...

11 comments:

atreyu said...

That's a cute child you have there. is it yours?

dr_koopon said...

What they really needed was one of those zelda compasses that makes a noise when you're in a room with a chest. Those things are really useful... until you play without sound. Then they're just annoying as hell cuz you'll go through a whole series of rooms and puzzles and battles for an item you can't even hear.

justifiably_vertical said...

If I were to ever have children, they would definitely wear shirts like that. Lucky for them, I never will.

And Koops, that compass is a lame cop out. What would Escape the World have to say about it?

The Juicy One said...

Haha, dude, you and OSK have to get on that shit. (especially now that you're all programming savvy) I seriously want to see this dream come to fruition.

"I will never have children"- JV. YES! More Betting!

BTW Escape the room is awesome, are there any other good versions of it online?

atreyu said...

Yeah, that's probably a good idea.

dr_koopon said...

Dude that shirt is awesome.

And hey, your clearly lame "adventurers" deserve such a lame compass. Seriously, who ever heard of not searching every room? It doesn't matter if you lose a character or two, leave no rock unturned!

justifiably_vertical said...

I miss you koops...

dr_koopon said...

For my unwillingness to leave rooms empty, or my willingness to let characters die in order to accomplish this?

This summer, there must be dungeon crawling.

justifiably_vertical said...

The former. And don't be that guy; when's the last time you lost a character (while playing with a sane, mature DM)?

And yes, there must be.

dr_koopon said...

Mario, that one time in the shaman's tent in an orc encampment. While the halfling thief did get some sick high damage hits in just afterwards, showing the fighters how its really done, as I recall we were overwhelmed and captured.

Oh, and you were DMing.

But other than that, I can't recall the last time I've lost a guy with a sane, mature DM.

justifiably_vertical said...

Hm, yes. I do recall that. But that didn't have so much to do with you exploring every room, just crappy roles (except for Hamfast).

You did, however, deserve it after naming him "Mario".