Thursday, January 03, 2008

Adventures In Sensitivity

Some dialog for all you avid fans out there (I'm looking at you freshman)...

See, I was exploring a particularly scenic galaxy that erupted from the bloated stomach of an adolescent star when I came across a shiny gold chest. I went through great trials (dodging ghosts, being eaten by giant eels, fighting handicapped crabs, etc) to get this chest open so I was pretty excited. I figured it was probably a star of either the power, sling, or jump nature. The most disappointing thing would be a load of coins or polyhedrons, right?

Instead, it was a goomba. A goomba?!

Mario: "A goomba? Fuck."

Goomba: " I, uh, found this power star."

Mario: "Oh. Did you? That's, uh, pretty cool."

Goomba: "Boy, this is awkward."

Mario: "Yeah..."


"Can I have it?"

Goomba: "What?"

Mario: "The star...can I have it?"

Goomba: "But it's my star..."

Mario: "Yeah but I'm kind of collecting them. See, I have to rescue this princess..."

Goomba: "But I found it."

Mario: "Yeah, but everyone else is just giving them to me..."

Goomba: "Well did you kill all their relatives too?"

Mario: "Did you really just go there?"

Goomba: "Well why shouldn't I? Just because your a celebrity doesn't mean you can get away with all that."

Mario "Oh fuck this."

At this point I jumped on him, he popped, and I got the star. Basically, everyone won.

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