New resolution: I must from now on stay awake for my entire birthday. Anything less than 24 hours of conscientiousness seems like a crime. Here's why:
Balloons. Somehow, they never get old. There are presently enough balloons around my door to make the entire hallway smell like latex. My sympathies to Atreyu who (allegedly) had to blow them all up herself (photographic evidence suggests otherwise).
Chicks who dig geeks. Apparently google and sharpies are all it takes to create the illusion that slutty, attractive girls love geeks, dungeon masters, and cinnamon toast crunch. As my soon-to-be-wife (on account of her cleverness and aversion to clothing) noted, "I've been looking for love in Alderaan places".
I'd like to take a moment to think about that phrase. First off, it's a solid pun ("Alderaan", "all the wrong", ah ha ha ha, get it?). Second, it features a Star Wars reference, which means it can't lose. Here's the coup de grace; Alderaan is the wrong place to look for love because it blew up! But wait, there's more*! If you're Hon Solo, it is the right place! Oh my GOD**, there's so many layers of meaning! It's like an onion***!
Fuck the evil empire. I heard a story about someone with a rebel alliance tattoo. That's awesome. Potentially unrelated to the birthday thing, but still awesome.
Traveling in style. I got carried to a neighboring building, up two flights of stairs, and into a fairly crowded room, all to an impressive rendition of "Joy to the World". No one knows why, but it happened. My interpretation? I'm kind of a big deal.
Note to self (and all the kids out there): peer pressure is wrong. Peer pressure will make you gag on frosting. Not okay. Smoking though, try that. The world will always need people with lighters so keep it up.
*Princess Bride reference, check it.
**Coming next semester, Tuesdays and Thursdays.
***An onion reference.
6 comments:
Yes, birthdays are quite fun. I suppose they satisfy our need for attention. I've always found that birthdays would be an excellent moment for poetic justice. Isn't it a perfect time for a divine intervention to settle our Karmic bill? Don't you hate it when a glorious soul has a terrible birthday? Don't you hate being an asshole all year and having a harmonious birthday anyway?
I hope you got what you deserve . I hope you had a great birthday.
Now why would a warrior from the grass plains be blowing up balloons unassisted? Who the hell do you think I am?
Alderaan's not far away, it's Californication.
One word for you: globalization. Latex gets made in one place, shipped to the Grassy Plains where you blow them up, then shipped back here to The Tundra.
Thankfully, the Grassy Plains are not yet infected by globalization. Those balloons on your door were beautiful though.
Stud. Did you seriously puke on frosting?
No, but I gagged like a prostitute.
Good to hear.
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