Greek Life

I kind of imagine this as a montage from the end of a Scrub's episode where all the subplots get tied together by JD narrating to really fitting music. Having said that, don't count on good organization of a well-defined theme. (the soundtrack is Fallout Boy's "I Have A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Up").

Everyone has a collection of idols in their lives, people we lean on when reality lets us down. We all also all lose idols. It can be late at night around a fire, talking about how much of a whore a mutual ex-girlfriend is, or by foolishly looking at pictures of people you don't need to see. The story? I recently started playing an online Star Trek RPG run by a women who is an able organizer, excellent role-player and fabulous writer. Needless to say I grew to respect her, which, because of my...unique realationship with women, means she ended up on a bit of pedestal. Then she sent out a picture of herself and several other players at some geek-con (the fact that they went to some convention is no surprise, after all they play a Star Trek RPG). Sadly, she looked like a total dork (and not even a hot one). Should that matter? Fuck no. But I'm a guy, so my pedestals always involve a certain degree of attractiveness. Do I want to bang my RPG mod? Of course not, but I did imagine her as a little hotter.

Yeah, I'm kind of a monster, it's true. But at least I still have my RC.

I Take My Oatmeal With Extra "WTF"?

With school fast approaching (2 days and 1 epiphany away), I want to resurrect this old blog and fill it with kick-ass college quality posts. I have a couple in mind already but presently I'm far too tired to write coherently. I've been staying up until 5 or 6 AM the last couple days and being forced to wake up far too early (noonish). After a summer of sleeping ten hours a day, its been a rough tranisition. More to point, I can't see straight so I assume I can't write straight either. Stay tuned. In the meantime, I'm going to try some SoC poetry to prove that I shouldn't be writing right now.

Ok, I take that back. I just tried it and mentioned lollipops by the fourth line. Call me a coward, but when I start composing poetry about phalic candy and guys named "Beezelybum", it's quittin' time.

How About A Crash Course In "Bitch"?

You know all those horrid commercials? The ones with dumb "moms" sraying every surface in their house with anti-bacterial chemicals that will, in truth, doom their children to world full of antibiotic-resistent pathogens? And you know how all those stupid products claim to kill "99.9%" of bacteria? Hm. Well, I noticed those commercials alwys include lovably dirty little ids in them...why not just sell something tht kills 99.9% of kids?

Well, One Of Us Must Be Haunted

Somehow, through some bizarre (or, ok, mildly coincidental) twist of fate, spent pretty much my entire life within earshot of a bell tower (think church steeple meets rooster), all of which insist upon playing the same tune at every hour or half thereof. I suppose thats what you get for living the prep school life (grew up a one, went to high school at one, will go to preppy college). If you think that years of this would mean I'm used to it, you're wrong. The combination of an uncomfortable couch, an easterly facing window of no small size, and, you guessed it, 8am bells made sleeping in this morning quite difficult. I think that morning people. who can easily conspire against the rest of us by having early morning meetings (and of course would because they're annoying) have built these bells just to bug those of us who sleep in more. It wouldn't surprise me, morning people always seem jealous and mean (though this may be due to the fact that many of them are old, and we all know old people are bitter and mean-spirited by nature).

The only the thing worse than living under the shadow of evil mechanical roosters erected by morning people is dating one. When out of school, I think 10am is early, especially after late nights (which are the only pleasant way to see five 'clock). This does not sit well with people who wake up at seven every morning without the aid of 120 decibel alarms, the threat of imminent death, or specially trained wake-up dogs. Apparently morning people don't realize that waking up takes a fairly long period of time unless aided by loads of caffine that induces a heart attack, forcing someone to zap you with those paddles, thereby waking you up. I think I'm going to slip sleeping pills into her food next time I see her...

I Won't Be Ignored

I spent chemistry class today surfing YouTube for videos about blowing stuff up with fairly common chemicals. What I found were a host of videos of home-made bomb instructions (not serious ones, but fairly legit), apparently all made by white suburban guys between 16 and 22. Hm. Oh, and they were all set to Linkin Park and System of a Down music. Screamo mexican terrorists (one video had all its instructions in spanish, so we can only assume). I'm not sure which is more disturbing; the obviously large demo out there making these or the fact that now I really want to...

Check it out for yourself.

I Just Got My Liscence In The Mail

Well, it's official: I'm a whore. I've turned this blog into a shameless enterprise to make money and I'm already .3% of the way there (to where exactly I'm not sure, they wouldn't tell me how much I'll make). You can see the evidence of my prostitution (do not quote this out of context anyone) right below the vaunted "Hall of Fame" where is says "Ads by Google". That's right, I signed up to host silly google ads because, frankly, I need the money (even if is a mere pittance) and it makes me feel important. I got off lucky though, it's not nearly as glaring as I'd expected and blends in quite well, so I don't have to be too ashamed of this. I just hope I don't get arrested for tax fraud if I don't end up paying taxes on what little I make...

Since the above doesn't really constitute a ligitimate post, I bring you this (another sign of whore-like activities): condoms. See, if you go to prep school as I do, you run into a lot of used condoms (in case you thought we were sheltered compared to public school kids, at least they do drugs and have sex off-campus). The problem with people who are popular enough to get any is they're not too bright and apparently can't think of any classy way to dispose of condoms. So you find them lying around behind the old, seedy gym and by the track (three words: high jump pit). I can understand no one wanting to go through the hassle of carrying them to a trash can or anything, but what I don't understand is some of the places they get. Sure, the high jump pit is secluded and comfortable, but how does your prophylactic end up in the middle a field, 30 yards away from it? We even get them in the middle of fields, no where near anything padded. Is that what happens when the high jump pit is occupied? You go out in the middle of a field? Dirty.

Acid Rain

I love Senior Spring. You knew school could be so relaxing? Turns out all we ahd to do was stop working...There's really only one guy who still cares about grades or scores or anything: the Man. The Man won't let it go, so the Man keeps making us take silly standardized tests. It won't be for too long though, last week I sent off a scantron(r) with "SEND HELP" bubbled in.

What I'm trying to say is that we all still have to sit for AP exams even though the scores don't matter, which not only gets us out of all our classes for the day, but also affords us the oppurtunity to put some pretty ridiculous responses. Here's some from the chemistry exam I took earlier today:

Calcium carbonate plus aqueous sulfuric acid yields: [insert my incorrectly completed reaction here]
Explain why granite (aka calcium carbonate) statues degrade outdoors:
"Tiny metieroite collisions" (the correct answer was acid rain)

Silver ions are an oxidizing agent, Iron (II) ions are a reducing agent. Solutions of the two are added together, what is the product?
"Sunshine!!!"

A solution of Iron (II) is titrated with permanganate. Explain why the color changes when the end point is met.
"Color is carried by a variety of subatomic particles called 'clown bosons'. When iron (II) is oxidized, purple clown bosons are produced that annihilate with the invisible blue clown bosons on hydronium. Therefore there is no color change until the blue bosons are depleted, at which point the purple ones start reacting with the atmosphere, producing a massive, catastophic chain reaction."

What happens when too much permanganate titrant is added?
"A starving kid in Africa doesn't have enough titrant"

Explain how the pressure ration of PO2/PO3 changes as the reaction takes place.
"No, trixs are for kids!"

How would that ratio change is a catalyst were added?
"Ibid"